Carre Armstrong Gardner wraps up the stories of the Darling Family with the hard-hitting and emotionally charged “They Danced On.”
Family matriarch and Maine resident Jane is learning to come to terms with the ALS diagnosis her husband, Leander, recently received. She truly believes in the Scripture that says God will heal those who come to Him in faith, and when He doesn’t seem to be healing her beloved, she has real doubts.
Ivy and Nick are continuing to try to figure out this parenting thing with their three adopted children — DeShaun who is entering culinary school, 13-year-old Jada who just HAS to have cornrows so she can be cool, and 9-year-old Hammer, who is suddenly acting out in very bad and very dangerous ways.
David and Libby are happily adjusting to newlywed life, and Sephy is about to marry Justice and move to Africa.
Youngest Amy is still running the local arts center and waiting for her best friend Mitch’s year of sobriety to end so they can take their relationship to the next level.
And Laura. Laura is still living in Phoenix, and still in denial she has a problem with alcohol — that she is indeed an alcoholic.
“They Danced On” weaves together the up-and-down stories of each of the characters, but particularly Jane’s and Laura’s. Gardner masterfully takes you on a journey that will leave you laughing one moment and crying the next. She so deeply develops these characters that you feel like you’re walking beside them every step.
Sprinkled throughout with Scripture, “They Danced On” is a tale that takes on heavy, heavy issues like disease (ALS and cancer and alcoholism) and the repercussions that come from those battles. It delves into matters of faith, where Jane (maybe not so correctly) deeply struggles with blaming Leander’s lack of healing on his own lack of faith and belief that he will be healed. She truly believes that giving up hope is not an option, and that he has given up hope.
Gardner offers up so many goodies and blessings in this novel — channeling anxiety into prayer, finding gratitude, taking everything to God, accepting God’s answers with good grace, grief and its unpredictability, and grace and forgiveness.
Even though this book is filled with many tear-inducing moments, you cannot help but feel inspired by each character’s growth. And Gardner does a great job wrapping up the story in the epilogue.
Five stars out of five.
Tyndale House Publishers provided this complimentary copy for my honest, unbiased review.
“They Danced On” (Darling Family series, #3) by Carre Armstrong Gardner
About the Author: Carre Armstrong Gardner is a former worker with children at risk in Russia. Now she lives in Portland, Maine with her husband and three teenagers, where she writes books and works as a nurse. Visit her at carregardner.com.
1. They Danced On is the final book in The Darling Family series. How have the Darlings changed throughout series?
The books each focus on different characters in the family, and of course the characters each change in some way. But the Darlings have changed as a family too. Grief is chiefly what has changed them: grief over one family member’s terminal disease, and another member’s addiction. In Book 3, they’ve also said good-bye to another daughter/sister who’s moved away to Africa. So lots of changes for this family. By the end of the final book, grief and good-byes have deepened and transformed them. In particular, the mother Jane grows in her faith in Book 3. She’s always believed that God operates on an input/output system: if we ask in faith, God will give us what we want. But now she has to face the reality—with all its accompanying pain and joy—that God is deeper and more mysterious than that. She has to grow up.
2. This book focuses on the stories of Jane and Laura Darling. Tell us a little about their situations.
As Book 3 opens, Jane is preparing to say good-bye to her husband of thirty-odd years. She’s learning to grapple with God: discovering that even when he doesn’t answer prayer the way we hope he will, he is still good, and more than sufficient for every deepest need. Jane also has a long-buried secret that has caused a breach between herself and her sister. In this book, she goes into the past to uncover it and solve a forty-year-old mystery. Laura Darling—oh, Laura! She is an alcoholic, and most readers tell me they really can’t stand her. This is so realistic: alcoholics can be some of the most selfish, manipulative people out there. But by the end of Book 3, I hope readers will love Laura and be eager to forgive her as she comes to terms with her addiction and recovery.
3. With which character in They Danced On do you most identify? Why?
I suppose there’s some of me in each of them: I’m pragmatic and scatterbrained like Ivy, and I love to feed my family like Jane. In my younger years, I was a people pleaser like Sephy, who saw life in uncompromising black-and-white terms like Amy, although I’m happy to say I’ve grown out of both of those tendencies. But when it comes down to it, I’m most like Laura. I have her self-destructive tendencies, and certainly the capacity at least to be as self-centered as she is. I’m amazed at the ways God has changed and redeemed me: I hope that in Book 3 readers will find Laura truly transformed as well.
4. Life doesn’t always go as expected for the characters in your book (and for us in real life). What are some ways you’ve learned to respond when this happens?
Living and working in Russia was a great training ground for this: life hardly ever went as expected there, both in small ways and big. There were constant curve balls; lots of disappointments and also wonderful, unexpected surprises. I learned to roll with it; I had to, in order to save my sanity. When I came back to the States, a pastor friend said, “Wow, Carre, you’re so much less uptight than you used to be!” How’s that for a back-handed compliment? But I took it in the spirit it was intended. I think there are a couple of keys to how to handle life not going as we expected. The first is to get your own expectations out of the way from the start: expectations that you’re going to get what you deserve; that your kids are going to turn out well; that other people are going to live the way they should live. Disappointed expectations are the root of all bitterness. In fact, we are promised very little by God: we are owed even less. When our expectations are low, it clears the way for gratitude. And gratitude is the second key: it has the power to change our outlook on everything. Paul’s injunction to give thanks in everything means that sometimes we have to give thanks even when we don’t understand a situation; even when there seems nothing to be thankful for. It can be a real discipline. Like all disciplines, the gratitude muscle should be exercised during the less-than-dire times. Then, in times of crisis when we need to call on it, the habit will be there.
5. What do your characters learn when they pray for healing, but it doesn’t happen?
This is a big sticking point for Jane in Book 3. She maintains that the Bible promises God will heal us if we have enough faith. But her husband has been diagnosed with a terminal disease, and he doesn’t seem to be getting better. Gradually, she moves away from the paradigm she has of God as a sort of divine Santa Claus, dispensing gifts and blessings to all who ask, and comes to see him as more of a wise and all-seeing father. A father who, although he sometimes has to say no to the things his children ask for, nevertheless always does it with the greatest love and compassion, and with their greatest good in mind. Before Jane can accept this, she has to face the fears that are keeping her in denial: her fear of saying good-bye to her husband and best friend, and of being left alone. Fear is what keeps most of us in denial. We overcome fear when we catch a glimpse of how deep God’s love for us is. Perfect love casts out fear.
6. What led you to want to write a family drama series?
Roots are important to me. I think it’s because I’ve lived such a transient life: I’ve moved 14 times, and I live in a socially fluid part of the country: people come, and stay for a few years, and move on. It seems we’re always saying good-bye to friends. So I rely on the solidity of family relationships: they’re something you can count on, even when you don’t live near each other. There’s no fun like the fun you have with family, and no griefs affect you so deeply as those that touch this particular nerve. My very favorite times in life are family Christmases or birthdays, or picnics … any time we get together. Now that I’m grown up, my siblings and their spouses are also my friends. It’s wonderful to have people who know your history; people you don’t have to explain yourself to.
7. What do you hope readers will take away from the story?
I hope they’ll come away with a deeper understanding of addiction and what it does to a person, and what hope there is. In the months to come, I’ll be writing some articles and guest blog posts about this issue. I would also love to help people move away from a facile and formulaic understanding of what God is like: that he’s an easily-analyzed being who hates unrighteousness and dispenses favor to the faithful. Not only is that understanding an incomplete one, but it’s also unsatisfying. Knowing God on a deeper level means things get complicated, less black-and-white. But they’re infinitely more satisfying.
8. Does your job as a nurse influence your writing? If so, how?
I suppose it does in this way: I see such a panorama of human suffering and triumph. Not just physically, but all day long, I brush up against dysfunctional families, failing marriages, people bewildered by life; struggling to live life on life’s terms the best they can manage. But I also see wonderful things: marriages that have thrived for decades; sweet, sacrificial love; bravery and kindness and wisdom in my patients. Not a day goes by that I don’t learn something new from someone I take care of. It’s all grist for the mill, fodder for stories. There is a character or two in each of my books based on patients I’ve had.
9. You have worked with many addicts in your job. What are some ways loved ones can better understand and love someone struggling with an addiction?
A couple of things are paramount if you love someone with an addiction. First, you have to realize that just as you did not cause the addiction, it’s also not in your power to cure it. The best thing you can do for an addicted loved one is to step back; take your hands off the situation. Stop paying their bills or cleaning up their messes ... let them experience the consequences of their own actions. The second is to develop a healthy sense of separation in your own mind. Realize you are not at fault. It is now clear to the medical community that addiction isn’t a moral failing; it’s an illness with genetic roots, just like diabetes. So if you love an addict, don’t let yourself get tangled up in guilt. Be there for them if they’re ready to take steps to change: know where to find an AA meeting locally. But you can’t force change; you’re going to have to wait until they’re ready. Be prepared to wait a long time. And meanwhile, get on with your own life.
10. What is next for you, writing-wise?
I’m working on a young adult series. Sort of a futuristic mix of sci-fi and fantasy. Very different from the Darlings! I’d like it to be an allegory of the Gospel for people who would not read the Gospel otherwise. And I’m working on some short stories.